Ba-Tzu: Love and Sex (Maelinhon)
— In every woman’s life, my dear, there should be only one, unique, and pure love until the grave!
— So who is the love of your life, mom?
(c) Old joke
A comprehensive and global FAQ on a big topic 🙂 Love, affections, sex, and marriage. Why do we like and stop liking other people? Why are we attracted to some and not to others? Why does unrequited love happen, where we are not liked by the object of our affection, no matter what we do? Is it necessary to search for one partner for life and hold on tightly to him or her? And most importantly, how to find balance in all of this from a metaphysical standpoint? Let’s examine how personal connections are formed from the perspective of the elements.
I came across an interesting case while parsing natal charts, namely asexuality and unwillingness to engage in contact for whatever reasons out of a rational, intelligent head. It was just a burst of inspiration 🙂
What are our boys and girls made of?
Each living being is like a Rubik’s Cube with 8 colored modules. These modules represent the elements that make up your body, psyche, and spheres of life. These 8 modules can be seen as chemical elements, remaining static throughout your life. No matter who you are or what you do, you are always a combination of these 8 elements. They behave much like chemical elements, reacting to everything and everyone you come into contact with. Each place, object, and living creature has its own set of elements. When you enter a new place, your 8 elements start interacting with the elements of that place. When you meet a new person, there is a reaction between your “cubes” and his or her.
There are three types of reactions:
Fusion: Elements hooked on each other, there is a powerful fusion reaction and the birth of a new element from the two.
Collision and conflict: The elements are in conflict, and their interaction creates a grating sensation like metal scraping against glass, leading to unpleasant feelings and clashes.
Absorption: If you come into contact with someone whose “maternal” elements are relatively dominant compared to yours, you begin to drain that person involuntarily. You vampirize them, and they weaken. Some we nourish, while others nourish us.
All these things we feel and know very well from our experience. Have you ever had someone enter a room, without even saying a word, and he’s already pissing you off? Or, on the contrary, someone enters, says “hello,” and immediately you feel at ease with them. Another scenario: you talk to someone for 20 minutes, seemingly without doing anything extraordinary, yet you feel as if you have unloaded a couple of wagons loaded with radiators. You experience tremendous fatigue, headaches, and sickness. And have you ever encountered a situation where you rarely see a person, but the moment you come into contact, sparks seem to fly between the two of you? You both immediately start laughing, joking, and creativity flows effortlessly, as if you’ve known each other for a million years. And then there’s that strange phenomenon when you really like someone, yet there’s something indescribably irritating you.
These are all different types of reactions, and it’s crucial to understand that they do NOT depend on the actual qualities of a person or your relationship with them. Rationally, you may have no conflicts or reasons for them, but based on sensations, there is a conflict. The same goes for love and the warmth you feel and the sense of being recharged in the presence of a certain person, even if you don’t engage in much conversation. Yes, children, Ba-Tzu is a relative of chemistry, everything is based on these elemental reactions, 100% of our connections are built on them, and rational connections are layered on top of this elemental foundation. This is precisely why our relatives can objectively be harmful and unpleasant to us, while strangers are much closer and more like family. This also explains the common situation where parents have different feelings towards their children, such as favoring the older one but not being particularly fond of the younger one. Children have different charts, leading to DIFFERENT reactions between them and their parents.
This is the first important point.
The second aspect to understand what love is involves the depth of the charts. A person (and even non-human entities) is constructed from cubes that extend to a depth of four layers. The first impression and appearance represent the pillar of the year. It’s what we see when we don’t know a person and only react with the two superficial elements. If we talk to a person for the first time – we see the second layer, a little more personal (and there are other elements there! so the first impression may not say anything about the person). This is the pillar of the month. Furthermore, let’s say we start communicating and enter into a relationship (romantic, friendship, partnership, or any other kind). We then see the element of the person’s birthday, which is the primary element and represents the third layer of the individual — his personality. And only when we have had sex or become close friends, who know the most intimate things about each other, do we encounter the deep element, the hour pillar, where anybody random is not allowed.
There’s a lot of nuance with the elements themselves, as they can be both attractive and alluring or less so. And the pretty elements can be situated at different “depths” for each individual. For example, the overwhelming majority of well-known actors and media personalities often possess a “beautiful” facade and a bright pillar of the year. And what lies behind that facade can be anything at all, and we don’t truly see or know the person behind it, we merely react to and interact with the outer shell. On the other hand, singers and writers tend to expose their intimate, personal layer of the hour pillar, so they may not be physically striking individuals, but when they sing or write, it’s as if they undergo a transformation.
As a result, there is a disparity: some people attract a lot of attention but quickly lose it when they start speaking, while others may go unnoticed initially but can captivate others upon closer acquaintance. All of this is related to fusions and reactions on different layers of the natal chart. The attractiveness of women directly depends on the quantity and placement of elements related to the Power element (which varies for each individual). For men, their attractiveness is influenced by similar parameters related to the Money element. There are individuals who are born without these elements at all, and they tend to be of little interest to others, both in close proximity and otherwise, often leading to a sad state of their personal lives.
People are somewhat like dogs; they can almost sense these elements by scent. If someone possesses a significant amount of these elements, they can appear and behave however they want, as they will still attract heaps of attention. On the other hand, a “nice guy” or a “sweet girl” may struggle to gain attention, and the issue is not their appearance or behavior. It’s simply because they don’t emit any noticeable scent to those around them.
Indeed, this forms the basis of why we are drawn to or repelled by certain people and places.
In this regard, Ba-Tzu and similar systems can assist in choosing a profession: a person with an elementally unattractive facade, despite external appearances, will not be able to become a popular actor. Similarly, someone with a weak month pillar may not excel in sales but could be more suited as an inventor or police officer. Our lives are complex because we continuously seek balance with thousands of individuals and places, some of which resonate with us while others clash, and this is not determined by our rational aspirations alone. Likewise, we can experience a lack of fusion or conflicts with our place of residence, profession, work, children, or even our country. Somewhere beyond the horizon, there may be another country where your mental makeup aligns perfectly, and people are just like you, but to find it, you have to go there. And search, search, search…I even have a theory that suggests we should find our citizenship rather than simply acquiring it at birth 🙂.
In the process of searching, we encounter two pitfalls: rationality and unrequited love.
Unrequited love and lifelong suffering
So here’s the thing about love. Love is a state of affairs where three or more pillars merge for two individuals, and they are mutually beneficial and pleasant. We fall in love when there is such a global reaction and the element this fusion generates is tasty and beneficial to us. The more we lack this generated element, the stronger the feeling overwhelms us that life is meaningless without this guy or girl, that the light only shines when they are around, and so on. The feeling is actually false, like a severe deficiency, for example, of calcium in the body. You painfully crave cottage cheese, and when you eat it, there is an illusion that it is pure delight. Well… yes and no. It simply perfectly replenished the deficiency. But dozens of other people can evoke the same feeling in us; it’s just that our body latched onto the first thing it was given, and it quenched the craving.
That’s why you should never try to find linear logic in affections, like “how could such a beautiful girl be interested in such a loser” or other thoughts like “what does he see in her?!” You don’t see from the outside what this couple is producing for each other and in what quantities.
Can you ‘love two people’ then? Well, even seven, it’s simply a question of the percentage ratio of who is your priority ‘source of calcium.’ We constantly find ourselves in dozens of fusions and connections! Yes, some of them are more important than others, but essentially, two people can evoke the same level of desired substances. By the way, our passionate love for music and art is based on the same principle: we enjoy experiencing a fusion with the deep layers of the performer. It’s like entering into an intimate connection with them (as we allow their hour element into our own), but without the actual contact. It’s also a form of fusion, but on a different level, and this is what fuels the desire for fame 🙂.
If all elements fuse and intermingle in complete harmony and mutual delight in two individuals’ charts, that is indeed the eternal love that is often celebrated in art. Unfortunately, such a connection is extremely rare in reality. And primarily because many people don’t even attempt to seek out such a fusion; they settle for what comes their way and are happy with that.
Life is short, resources are limited, and there are plenty of problems to deal with and people often fear ending up with nothing. This is a fact. Looking for some mythical pink pony far away (which may not even be there) can be a long, challenging, and arduous task and generally venereal diseases are not all completely curable 🙂 That’s why many individuals choose someone with whom they have at least some basic compatibility and settle for a long but unhappy life together. In the worst-case scenario, they choose a partner purely rationally, with their minds, ignoring the lack of reactions. They may think, “Well, she’s a decent woman, she cooks, cleans, doesn’t nag me. What more could I want?” This dull tune is often disrupted when they encounter someone who possesses that desired and essential element, leading to heartache and adultery. That’s why it’s crucial to rely on deep emotions and feelings (which also require continuous effort and work) rather than consuming the well-known dish of “eat-what-is-given” out of fear of being alone. Being alone is not scary; what’s truly frightening is spending your whole life with someone who means nothing to you, missing out on countless fascinating experiences.
Indeed, we can rationalize and convince ourselves that a particular relationship or person is necessary and important to us. But in the realm of emotions, this approach simply doesn’t work and will inevitably lead to suffering. Always. I mean, always, believe me! The elements and planets are directly connected to the chemistry of our bodies and hormones. Therefore, an incompatible and inherently conflicting person, even through the scent of their body, will repel us and signal their mismatch with us. They may be a good person, but just not right for us.
By the way, what about us?… This is an interesting point. The thing is, each person has their own unique set and combination of elements, with their own needs and preferences. And the same element is good for some, not for others. And quite often, an unpleasant imbalance occurs when a fusion takes place. It may seem like a positive fusion and a new influx of energy has emerged, but for one participant this energy is amazing, while for the other it’s nonexistent. In other words, your interaction generates conditional calcium, but you have a deficiency of it, while for your beloved there is an excess, he doesn’t eat cottage cheese, and you smell like that to him on the subtle plane. And you want him, but he doesn’t want you. The remedy lies in finding an alternative source of calcium.
The one and only?…
There is one unpleasant aspect worth mentioning, and that is the interference of monotheistic religions with their flawed morality and dogmatism, eager to intrude into the lives of all citizens and dictate something. Because how can we seek that elusive, perfect fusion when the damn patriarchy has been hammering us for centuries about one true love for a lifetime? Even better, they advocate for a single partner! And many believe that they can hit the jackpot with one shot because they’ve seen it in movies (lol). They also know someone who knows someone whose second cousin’s friend successfully found their true love on the first try. Well, good for them, wishing them success.
In reality, the search for a partner is:
а) It is precisely the SEARCH, not a one-time shot. And to find, you need to search and try.
b) The partner you’ve found may not necessarily be with you until the end, it can be a successful fusion only for a certain period, and then it may no longer be the case. Moreover, even with the most merged and strong relationships, you STILL need to work on them.
c) Partners of the second type are NOT mistakes, failures, etc. It’s normal to have lived with one person for 10 years and then start living with another.
You see, technically there is no quantitative norm of partners, wives, husbands and affections in life. Well, except perhaps for three-digit numbers, which might indicate psychological disorders. It’s all about search, and each of us is a variation of normal because there are as many variations of charts and fusions as there are norms.
Every 10 years we undergo complete changes: our physiology changes, the structure of our bodies changes, our tastes, views, and preferences change, as well as the very foundation and basis of reality. This is called metaphysical tact, which refers to the global positions of planets and elements in relation to the Sun. And often, there is a situation where your wonderful and beloved partner no longer fits into the new door frames. You have changed and renewed yourself, and your new parameters no longer find that fusion appealing, tasty, or beneficial. This happens more often than you think. And in such cases, it is perfectly normal not to try to revive that dead horse but to part ways as friends and find something relevant for the new stage of life. It is not bad, shameful, or wrong; it is simply a part of that very search. Yesterday, you needed someone like that, and they were there, but you have changed, and after N years, you need something different. Sometimes people synchronize their changes and repeatedly find themselves in mutual harmony, and that too is normal, albeit less common.
So to think that you will hit such a target once and for all your life is akin to a farmer planting ONE seed and expecting a bountiful harvest. And if it doesn’t sprout, shrugging your shoulders and saying, “Well, I did everything I could!” You need to plant as many seeds as are available within your reach, and then choose from among them the option(s) that suit you.
Sex, sex, sex!
The third important aspect is that we cannot be alone. Of course, a person can channel their energy into something, engage in self-pleasure (well, who doesn’t?). Yes, it relieves tension, but when this is the only range of experiences, it becomes an unhealthy situation. All these fusions and collisions are as vital to life and health as food or sleep, and you cannot attain most of these elements in solitude. You need someone else, someone “around whom” the mechanisms of your own body will activate. The body and psyche require an external trigger to initiate internal processes and reforms. In other words, when you constantly interact with someone in some way, you accumulate new elements, new energy, new lines, and you shed light on your problem areas and work on them. It is impossible to live in a vacuum and be healthy. Even negative connections still bring an influx of energy and change. Even collisions can be beneficial because they trigger us to make various transformations.
Sex is one of the key tools for enhancing the system of the bodies and psyche because in order to engage in sex, you and your partner must mutually journey from the surface to the depths, open up, relax, and begin to trust each other. In other words, you have to synchronize two (or more, depending on appetites and preferences) systems of bodies across all four pillars and eight elements. To understand where there are blockages and issues in the body, you need to engage the corresponding organs and systems, and sex is the perfect stress test under load. You cannot undergo such a test on your own; it is impossible to proudly jerk off alone at home and simultaneously experience the fusion and influx of someone else’s useful Qi. You still need another person (or non-human entity). After all, we don’t assume that fantasies about food will satisfy our hunger, do we? So why should we expect something to happen from fantasies about love or sex?
And this is where most people stumble. Because a vast number of individuals simply don’t know how to do all of this. In school, they teach all sorts of bullshit instead of psychology and the skills of communication and interaction with the world. People naturally don’t know how to communicate, engage in dialogue, charm, and captivate (hello to those who send dickpics!). And then – to relax, open up, listen to yourself and your partner, adjust and generally conduct the process. Because while everyone can imagine everything perfectly, beautifully, cleanly, and pleasantly in their heads, it is only when they are alone with another human being that it becomes clear they are repressed here, their self-esteem is crippled there, fears suffocate them somewhere else, and past experiences cause pain… And sex becomes the perfect litmus test for internal problems because you are vulnerable and it exposes all of your issues. And they need to be resolved. But how?!
In short, many people find it easier to pretend to be asexual or to go back to “eating what they’re given” than to shovel all this shit out into the light and start to change. Some individuals hold onto their physical and mental barriers so tightly that, like clenched fists, they gradually become numb and lose sensitivity. The desire starts to fade away. However, over time, an unresolved and stagnant system begins to rust, resulting in physical ailments related to sexual and reproductive organs and disruptions in the endocrine system. Have you seen square-shaped, short-haired, overweight women in their 40s? Or balding, pot-bellied men who could be either 38 or 60? Those are the individuals with a halted subtle metabolism.
Yes, sex is not the path to everything, but it is one of the ways to health, particularly mental and subtle health. However, it’s important not to fixate on sex in either a positive or negative way. A simple thesis is that it SHOULD BE a regular part of your life and bring pleasure. That’s a necessary condition. The frequency, partners, and preferences are subjective and vary, but when there is a complete absence of sex, or when it’s not enjoyable, or when there is an excessive amount of it, and especially when there is no desire for it at all, it indicates a pathology, and a very serious one at that. The body is literally crying out about the problem.
Finding out such tensions and blockages in the body can be incredibly painful and challenging. It would require at least a good psychotherapist and a manual therapist, and finding such a golden combination can be difficult and costly :)) So, it may be easier to seek a lover and open up naturally, so to speak.
Summing it up, we can say the following: you are constantly engaged in a chemical reaction with everything you come into contact with. And in a broad sense, all reactions involve love 🙂. Sometimes, close friendship can be deeper and more serious than romantic relationships, and sometimes connections are formed with unexpected individuals and places. There is no universal norm; you have to find your own. There is no definitive statistical data on who will be successful with whom and who will not. All those signs, compatibilities, and the like are ultimately secondary and difficult to observe from the outside.
You can’t globally change the inner stuff of yourself or another person, so globally you can’t make anyone fall in love with you or make yourself fall in love because your rationality has decided so. You don’t affect the processes of fusion and rejection, so if someone doesn’t like you, it’s probably forever. But you always have the option to leave, change partners, change places, try something new, make adjustments—basically, keep moving. Life is movement, and so is love. And they shouldn’t stop.
P.S. By the way, where are the love spells here?! Love spells have always been a trendy thing, but if you dig deeper, it turns out that we cannot simulate true fusion, which means we cannot simulate love. And it’s worth assuming that love spells are a form of slavery, not an imitation of feelings 🙂.
Wishing everyone mutual and vibrant love!
(c) Mylene Maelinhon
Translated by Maxus